James Franco’s To Do List

‘Hhmmm, if I sit here long enough stroking my chin and staring at this book cover, then someone might photograph me and people will forget I made ‘Your Highness’ and remember how arty I am.’

The first time I realised that modern day renaissance man James Franco was more than just the guy who played Peter Parker’s bfbnfbhkhf* in Spiderman was a couple of years ago in Paris. I was in one of the Latin Quarter’s tourist trap restaurants with a friend when the camp, middle-aged frenchman dining alone on the table next to us asked what films we’d seen recently. The conversation went something like this:

My friend: Um, I saw Pineapple Express.

Strange Man: Oh, who plays in this Pineapple Express?

My friend: An actor called James Franco is in it.

Strange Man: Oh! James Franco! Yes I know James Franco. What other films have you seen?

Me: Well, I did watch Harry Potter the other day.

Strange Man: Is James Franco in this one?

Me: Uh, no. He isn’t.

Strange Man: Ah, I see. Have you seen any other films with James Franco in?

Me: Um, Spiderman.

Strange Man: And did you like James Franco in this one?

Me: Yeah, I s’pose.

Strange Man: So what other films have you seen with James Franco in?

And so on and so on it went. I detected that the man had a soft spot for James Franco. Since then the Franc’s numerous artistic and academic ventures (books, artshows, albums, creative writing masters to name a few) have seen his value rise dramatically. I feel absolutely certain in my  statistical estimations when I say that in the last year 50% of all cultural magazine and sunday supplement article headlines have been a variation on the sentence ‘James Franco does a lot of different things’. Ever ready to go to extreme lengths to get the latest lowbrow culture lowdown, I concocted an elaborate plan to break into his house undetected and see if I could get a heads up on any of his future projects. The plan is too elaborate to go into here so I won’t bore you with the details, instead I shall just provide  my findings.

*bfbnfbhkhf = best friend but not forever because he kills his father

MEIN HAUS AM SEE – BERLIN

Bar/Cafe Mein Haus Am See located in Rosenthaler Platz in the trendy district of Mitte, is the epitome of Berlin cool. Open 24/7.  A friendly, relaxed atmosphere. Great music. Stylised and comfortably cool furnishings rather than chic and intimidating.  Graffited walls. And the Berlin bar staple that stands out for any Brit in the German capital: table service.

Check out their blog here: http://www.mein-haus-am-see.blogspot.com/

Brunnenstrasse 197, 10119 Berlin, Germany

The Muppet Christmas Carol

Unless you have a particular aversion to fuzzy, anthropomorphised puppet creatures or anything associated with the festive season makes your skin crawl, then you will surely agree that The Muppet Christmas Carol is the greatest Christmas film ever made. It is impossible to improve on.  (If you are in the position of Christmas cultural poverty in which you’ve never seen the film, then you’ll just have to take my word for it.) However, it is much, much, more than just ‘the greatest Christmas film of all time’, it is also, one of the greatest films of all time of any kind and the greatest musical movie ever. FACT.*

Here are the reasons why The Muppet Christmas Carol is The Greatest:

• Michael Caine as Scrooge is GREAT.
• The Muppets are GREAT.
• The songs are GREAT. (”You know wherever you find love it feels like Christmaaaasss” – aahh)
• The boundary-crossing narrative tool that uses Gonzo (claiming to be Charles Dickens) and Rizzo the Rat as on-screen story tellers who break the fourth wall, directly addressing the viewer whilst at the same time interacting with the characters on screen who are unaware of the viewer, brings an almost Brechtian element to the film. Which is GREAT.

That’s FOUR GREATS! The Muppet Christmas Carol then must be THE GREATEST FILM EVER MADE…

Any Human Heart

First things first, Any Human Heart is my favourite book ever. Through the  journals of fictional writer Logan Mountstuart, the reader is given a review of the whole of the twentieth century and shown that, no matter whether we experience extraordinary events in our lives or not, what matters most is the relationships we develop with others. So on hearing several months ago that it was being made into a television drama my heart dropped. I didn’t want the emotional connection that I have with it to be weakened in the future by memories of a lacklustre film representation. And a on a more snobbish level I didn’t want people to end up watching the TV series before they had read the book. Then I heard that Jim Broadbent and Matthew Mcfadden would be two of the three actors to play the protagonist Logan Mountstuart at different stages of his life and my hopes raised a little. And when I heard that William Boyd, the author, was writing the screenplay himself, my hopes raised a lot.

Obviously, as the novel is my favourite book it will be highly unlikely that I will enjoy the dramatisation as much but it’s not fair to judge the two by the same criteria, as I have written about recently (here). Film exists in a much narrower space than the novel and therefore cannot tell stories in the same way or with the same freedom. So I look forward to watching Any Human Heart as a drama and it will be interesting to see what Boyd has decided to focus on, and what he has decided to leave out.

Any Human Heart starts on Thursday at 9pm on Channel 4

Cultpops November II

Burning Through The Nite by Outer Limits Recordings

Outer LImits Recordings is one third of Test Icicles. This song just needs to be listened to. There’s no point trying to explain it. At it’s core is brilliant pop. But just click the link.

Jamie, My Intentions Are Bass by Chk Chk Chk

Whoever you are Jamie, you’ll have one hell of a night if you spend it with these dirty disco brooklynites.

All Around And Away We Go by Twin Sister

Yet another brooklyn band but don’t let that put you off. This eerily gorgeous disco tune is hypnotically amazing in its eery gorgeousness.

Any Human Heart by William Boyd

The dramatisation starring Jim Broadbent and Matthew Mcfadden as Logan Gonzalo Mountstuart, adapted by Boyd himself comes to Channel 4 this week. If you’ve never read the book, make sure you do. Whether or not you see the television series first. Though preferably read the book before you watch the drama if you can. Simply, the greatest of modern novels about the importance of human relationships to one’s life.

Peeping Tom by Michael Powell

Limited re-release for the sixties voyeuristic thriller by the director of A Matter Of Life And Death and The Red Shoes that shocked audiences and critics alike when it was originally shown in cinemas.

Misfits v The Inbetweeners v Skins

In the past five years, television for UK teenagers about UK teenagers has existed with a quantity and quality like never before. This isn’t to say that alongside endless repeats of Come Dine With Me the schedules are now chock-a-block with comedies and dramas about modern British youths smoking, shagging, and stealing. But whereas there used to be no programmes that showed teenagers speaking and acting as they actually would, now there are three hugely popular shows that get somewhere close to doing that: the world conquering Skins; the slow-burner to monster hit comedy The Inbetweeners; and the sci-fi, ASBO melding Misfits. (Although that’s perhaps more ‘early twenties’ rather than ‘teenage’.) All three shows are on E4. That channel is the only place that has been able to produce programmes that portray the actions and language of British teenagers to any sort of realistic degree. Ever since the massive success of Skins launched this current TV trend BBC3 has made a few attempts to replicate it but their rather more sanitised versions have always proved ultimately crap and forgettable.

Yet that’s not to say Skins itself isn’t crap. Let’s not get carried away here with the praise. Skins is crap. Or at least the second-generation seasons are crap. Mainly because most of the characters and storylines were dull and tedious but also because the show turned into a thirteen year-old’s wet dream of what life at sixteen is like. It was as if they were going through an overloaded check-list of everything young adolescents think is cool about being an older teenager. But that’s fair enough, Skins is mainly for 13 to 15 year olds. They’re the only ones who watch the show and think it’s an utterly realistic depiction of teenage life. It’s not obviously. It’s an embellished and dramatised account. The original generation episodes were just better at the drama bit.

Those first seasons were of a higher quality than what followed. (Though obviously that’s not saying much.) Especially the second as the young actors who were fairly useless at the very start improved with practice, and overall the writing in both season one and two was decent to strong, and most importantly of all, very British. Plus, Nicolas Hoult’s Tony was a multi-layered, malevolent individual that you would never expect to be the central character in an American teenage drama. Which makes you wonder how MTV have handled the remake.

It would be very hard to imagine The Inbetweeners being remade in the US. That really is very, very British and ironically, even though it’s a straight-up comedy and the language is exaggerated for laughs, the characters speak in a more realistic way than those in Skins. Plus, adolescents who lead relatively drama-free lives that try to sneak into house parties that they haven’t been invited to and lie about all the sex they’ve had when they haven’t had any, are probably more recognisable to the majority of teens watching these shows than that drug-fuelled, over-sexed, crisis-engulfed group of young’uns from Bristol. Yet, that’s not to say that The Inbetweeners is any less entertaining. In fact, it’s more entertaining because the detailing of teenage idiosyncrasies and failures is so bang-on, which is what makes the show just so goddamn funny. Except the third season, where the writers got lost in their own success and forced the extremities of the language too far for it to work in the hilariously realistic way it originally did.

Misfits is in the stronger position than the other two series by being only one and a bit seasons old, so has not yet stagnated. Commonly referred to as ‘Skins meets Heroes’ it was the surprise but deserved winner of the television BAFTA for best drama last year. Critical recognition of the type that you imagine the producers of Skins, in the words of Peep Show’s Mark Corrigan, ‘would literally stab a baby’ for. They would never get anywhere near it though whilst the brilliant writing, stylish direction and photography, and most of all, far superior acting of Misfits is around. The series’ effortless coolness makes the desperate-to-be-trendy Skins look like it’s trying too hard. It is ironic that a show about youths with super powers paints a far more true to life and in depth picture of young people in Britain today than the supposedly reality based sixth-form drama. However, to be fair to the other two shows, the characters in Misfits are slightly older which allows the series to have a darker tone.

Even if Misfits is the best programme of the three, what if characters from each of these shows found themselves together at that most teenage of situations, a house party, then who would win in a teenage-off?

Get the biggest reaction to a party-trick in the kitchen: Young people often get over-excited when they start drinking and taking drugs at house parties. There’s always someone who thinks they’re a bit of a joker and constantly tries to win the acceptance of their peers through their crazy-ass japes. At a house party, the kitchen is the perfect place to perform such show-off pranks. There’s no music and before the party has got going people go in there to cluster in little groups before the alcohol and drugs start kicking in. A kitchen party trick then is the best way to break the ice and get the party started.

Who’s up: Nathan Misfit v Neil Inbetweener v Chris Skins

Chris is one of those guys who think that focusing their personality around being more fucked than everyone else all the time makes them ridiculously entertaining. But gurning in people’s faces isn’t much of a party trick and people are just ignoring him in the hope he’ll go away. It is only half past nine and the rest of the party are still pretty sober. No win for Skins here then. Neil’s party trick is obviously the robot dance. It is obviously shit and not at all funny. The crowd in the kitchen politely give him a couple of seconds then turn their attention to Nathan who is wielding a large kitchen knife. He stabs himself with it repeatedly, splattering the kitchen in blood. Everyone screams like they never have or will before and are traumatised for life. After dying for a few moments Nathan shocks everyone by coming back to life. Everyone screams again. Louder. Easily the biggest reaction. The power of immortality is perhaps an unfair advantage in this contest.

Verdict: Nathan Misfit wins!

Score: Misfits 1; The Inbetweeners 0; Skins 0

Have sex in parents’ bedroom: Kids get drunk. Kids get horny. Some lucky kids hook up and awkwardly lose their virginity in the bedroom of parents who misguidedly didn’t lock their door because they mistakenly believed their daughter went along a more ‘genteel’ crowd and was too nice to have a house party when the went away for the weekend. Other kids go home and have a lonely wank, wondering when it’ll be their turn.

Who’s up: Alisha Misfit v Will Inbetweener v Tony Skins

Will is out of this one straight away. He unbelievably gets up to the bedroom with the Charlotte, the lust of his life but then does something really straight laced, says something really geeky, then pulls a funny face. Oh my! How cringeworthingly hilarious he is! But no sex so no teenage points. The cast of Skins are just shagging each other all over the house cos they’re just really cool like that, yeah? Only, although they’re going for it in the conservatory, and in the hallway, and on the stairs, and under the stairs, and on top of the television, and in the kitchen sink etc., they’re not doing it in the parents’ bedroom. Sex in a bedroom?! No way grandma! They’re way too cool for that. However, pheromone excessive Alisha eyes ice-cool heartthrob Tony and intentionally brushes past him on the landing. Her super-power of ‘touch me then want to fuck me’ causes him to bundle her into the bedroom. Will stands outside the door asking, ‘Isn’t that a bit rapey?’

Verdict: Alisha Misfit and Tony Skins draw.

Score: Misfits 2; The Inbetweeners 0; Skins 1

Steal Stuff: It’s not big, it’s not clever, and it’s not nice. But before they’re old enough to know that the only stealing allowed at house parties is the sly sweeping of other people’s booze, teenagers always nick stuff. Normally at the end of the night, and normally either stupid stuff taken as prizes, like spatulas; stuff they sort of want, like CDs; or, most commonly of all, the holy grail for a teenage boy thief at a party – the dad of the household’s porn collection. (Though clearly this is a harder treasure to come by in the Internet age.)

Who’s up: Simon Misfit v Jay Inbetweener v Cook Skins

Jay gets off to a good start here, pocketing some ornaments from a shelf. Just little things that when he shows his mates once they leave will seem stupidly funny in that way that only can to very drunk people. However, the girl whose party it is catches him taking a pair of her knickers from the washing machine and then shouts to all her fit friends about what a ‘massive pervert’ and ‘fucking creep’ Jay is. Embarrassed, he silently scuttles off home. Cook meanwhile is too busy being all Liam Gallagher style northern and fighty in the living room to bother nicking anything. So it’s down to quiet Simon to try and grab a better loot than Jay. He’s not really one to steal but desperate to impress his fellow young offenders and egged on by Nathan he goes in search of funny shit. Using his power of invisibility he rifles through the dad’s study and…SCORE! Hidden in a suspiciously overtly dull and work-like folder is his porn collection! Ultimate treasure trove!

Verdict: Simon Misfit wins! (Bonus point for dad’s porn.)

Score: Misfits  4; The Inbetweeners  0; Skins 1

Throw up and pass-out in bathroom with the door locked causing a couple of drunk mates to overzealously kick it down while the girl whose party it is stands on the landing screaming, then get thrown out of the house, still unconscious, chin and t-shirt covered in sick: Always happens to some unlucky bastard.

Who’s up: Kelly Misfit v Simon Inbetweener v Anwar Skins

This one is a no-brainer. The Misfits are all too cool to be the laughing stock of a party and Anwar isn’t even there. He’s in Hollywood bending some element or other. This is classic Inbetweeners stuff. Showing the embarrassing side of teenage life. And that’s why we love ‘em.

Verdict: Simon Inbetweener wins!

Score: Misfits 4; The Inbetweeners 1; Skins 1

It’s too little too late from The Inbetweeners, so Misfits grab a resounding victory thanks to their superpowers. Unequivocal proof that theirs is the best teenage telly programme in the country. If not the best TV show of any sort in the whole world. For the next month or so anyway.

The second season of Misfits airs on e4 every Thursday at 10pm

CultPops November

‘Oh, look how cool and f*****d up they look. I bet this is going to be a good show.’

Paris Blue by Lykke Li

God, we love Lykke Li here at Les Flâneurs. Yet, not too sure about new single Get Some. This, the b-side to that track, makes up for it however. Plus, we always appreciate a bit of l’amour parisien.

Not In Love by Crystal Castles ft. Robert Smith

It’s clearly not friday because the  Cure frontman is not in love. Instead he’s provided some actual singing to the normally shouty electronic songsmiths Crystal Castles. Raise your hands in the air for the trance-like chorus.

Never Stop Dancing by Golden Bug ft. Esser

Beautiful, glorious, intriguing dance tune with a funny video. What more could you ask for in music for the internet age?

Another Year by Mike Leigh

Yes, we know. Everyone’s banging on about it but that’s because it really is that good.

Anti-CultPops: Skins US

As if the UK version wasn’t crap enough these days, America shows just how shit the teenage drama can be. And they’ve done it by remaking the first series, which was actually fairly good. Surely, it couldn’t be too hard to get right? Yet from the look of the trailer, they seem to have seriously bollocksed it up. Congratulations US remakes, you’ve done it again.

This Is England ‘86

Lace up your Doc Martens, button up your Fred Perry, and pull on your Harrington. This Is England returns. The midlands maestro Shane Meadows picks up the story of Shaun, Woody, Milky et al. three years after the end of the film in a new four-part television series for Channel 4. Will surely be at least 100 times better than when they tried to make a TV series of Lock, Stock.

This Is England ‘86 starts Tuesday 10.00pm on Channel 4.

THE KNEEHIGH ASYLUM

In the heart of Cornwall the Kneehigh theatre company is celebrating it’s 30th anniversary this summer with the launch of its nomadic theatre space, ‘The Asylum’. The Red Shoes, Blast, and The King of Prussia will be showing there during the month of August before the company goes on tour.

CHEZ JACK EXPOSITION

Come discover the universe of Chez Jack, at its moment of exposure.
Special opening and installation Friday June 4th, 2010, from 6-10pm.

Venez découvrir l’univers de Chez Jack, le temps d’une exposition.
Vernissage et installation spéciale le Vendredi 4 Juin 2010 de 18h à 22h.

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Chez Jack at Centre Culturel Auguste Dobel
9 rue Philidor
75020 Paris
Métro: Maraîchers

http://www.chezjack.fr